Hello everyone, my name is Kirill, I'm 20 years old. I’ll tell you a little about myself as a person, my goals, the project itself and plans for the future. Born in Vladimir, in an ordinary family, an ordinary guy. Over the past few years, many unpleasant moments have happened in my life. One of them became a turning point, the very moment in which I learned my diagnosis and realized that I was seriously ill. This moment made me think about a lot: about life, about what happened in it, about what could happen in it. Actually, these thoughts led me to one idea, goal, dream. We will always have time to talk about me in detail. Now I want to introduce you to my project.
Goal: to show what a person is capable of, despite life’s difficulties, to show that, if desired, a person can cope with any problem, no matter how difficult it may be.
While in treatment, I observed people in the hospital. Almost everyone complains about the injustice of fate, counting the remaining days, about the pain, about the hopelessness of the situation. Actually, I want to show by my example that you shouldn’t pay so much attention, nerves, and worries to such things, that you shouldn’t give up and you should try to help others in spite of everything.
At the moment I have already assembled a small team. Wonderful people who supported my idea and are ready to implement it.
What am I going to do?!
My team and I are about to go to places where our help is needed.
We will have no limits in choosing a place. Each time it can be anywhere in the world. When everything is ready to send, we simply open the card and point our finger. Next we will look at what is required in this place.
The first foray is planned on the territory of our vast Motherland.
For what reasons?!
Firstly, I need to finish my chemotherapy and radiation therapy courses, which limit my actions.
Secondly, during the remaining treatment, I need to get myself into good physical shape, because the disease has taken quite a lot of weight from me.
And thirdly, during this same time, finally think everything through.
Many people ask whether all this will be harmful to my health?
We will all die someday, because life is not eternal. What I know for sure is that I will not die from this disease, but everything else will follow.
About collecting money for treatment
I was never bothered by my diagnosis and was not bothered by anything, despite all the unbearable procedures I underwent for treatment. When I reached remission and then relapsed six months later, I just smiled and laughed. This didn’t surprise or offend me in any way. But after some time, the cancer gave complications that I was not prepared for. I was lying at home and drinking a milkshake, when suddenly I started choking and coughing with every sip. “Allergies,” I thought. And the next day the next course of chemotherapy began. Later I realized that even swallowing drool, I was choking and coughing. I completely stopped eating and drinking, plus the chemistry was taking its toll. It was very difficult, after a few days they began to thoroughly examine me. And one of the diagnostics revealed that I had a fistula, a hole between the trachea and the esophagus. At first I thought that this was just another nonsense that would soon pass. But that was not the case, they said that an operation was needed in order to eat, it was necessary to drain a tube into the stomach, where food would be delivered using a syringe. This didn’t surprise me either and didn’t make me falter, I thought that this was another difficulty that I would survive. But when they told me that this was forever, I lost my mind, because for me the most valuable thing in life is to eat, or rather, to eat everything and everywhere. Food is something sacred to me. And then they tell me that I will never be able to eat or drink on my own, and that I will even have to cough up drool for the rest of my life. At that moment I realized that I needed to look for a place where they would tell me that this was not true and that there was a way out. After some time, searching for different clinics in different countries on the Internet, I realized that this is microsurgery, which is not very progressive in our country. After consulting, I found out that I had to undergo long and difficult treatment, which would cost a lot of money, namely, not one or two million rubles, but much more. In a panic, thinking for a long time, I decided to turn to my subscribers in a video message with my illness for help. I didn't know what, how or where. All I knew was that it was extremely expensive. As a result, I opened collections in which subscribers actively took part, they created leaflets and so on, and put them everywhere they could. It was then that I realized what a mistake I had made. I never thought that there were such evil people in the world that I would shoot on the spot. They called me all sorts of things later: a swindler, a mama’s boy who begs, and so on. They assured me that this was all nonsense, which could be easily treated even at home. After all, everyone here has become great doctors and knows everything. They generally said about the tube in my stomach that it was a urinary catheter, and I was very actively deceiving everyone. After about a month I stopped collecting. It’s better to die than to see this from people, I thought. Despite this, they continued to try to turn everyone against me, showing how insignificant I am and so on. Soon they got my public page blocked for “Suspicious fees.” This was the limit of what my nerves could withstand. After all, roughly speaking, I lost all the fruits of my labor, which I did throughout the year. It was as if a piece of me had been torn off. People simply simply forgot that I do not have some kind of fundraising group, but a project, a public page with important information. But no one listened, so I ended up creating a new one. Or rather, not me, but one of the subscribers. Since I was unable to even surf the Internet due to health reasons, everything was done for me. Over time, they put the new group in order, but after some time, the subscriber who created the group simply went over to the side of the people who slandered me as best they could. She deleted all the information in the group and wrote one single post about how bad and a fraud I am. This time I didn’t give a damn, I didn’t care anymore, since I had already regretted 100,500 times about starting some kind of training and so on. Over time, subscribers suggested me a clinic in Russia by voting, with their reviews and so on. Without hesitation, I decided to trust Mother Russia and get treatment here, and not abroad. I spent six months there without checking out. And all this time they continued to slander me as best they could. I read all sorts of nasty things that made me want to just commit suicide. In the end, I pulled myself together and simply rudely sent such people away, which naturally escalated the situation, but I did as I considered necessary. Over the course of six months, I went through several different operations; the tubes were probably sticking out of me everywhere they could. They tried to bury me three times already; they said that they could only remove the esophagus and thereby separate the lumen. This means that I would never be able to talk and would still be fed through a tube. But I would have survived. The worst thing that happened was two weeks in intensive care. I would never wish this on anyone. You just lie in four walls completely without clothes, connected to various devices and look at the ceiling. It was unbearable, several times I was ready to just get up, tear off all the tubes and devices that were connected to me, and go to my department myself. Day after day I was told that perhaps tomorrow I would be transferred to the ward, but every time something bad happened that would prevent me from surviving the ward. That’s why I was in intensive care the whole time. It’s one thing when you sleep all this time, it’s another when you can’t sleep due to various complications and just stare at the ceiling with open eyes for 24 hours. You can't even turn on your side. Over time, the hour came when they performed the most important operation and cut off six rings of my trachea, connecting the ends to each other. The chances were slim, but I survived, and not only did I survive, but now I eat and drink without a single pipe. It was like a dream. When I finally arrived home, I immediately resumed my travels and went to Kazan. But then it started again, slander and so on. “Kirill was discharged and began to have fun and relax, and said that he would go to the children in orphanages and oncology centers.” It was outrageous, they wrote that way, because I didn’t write about what I was doing in Kazan. As a result, I simply took a photo in front of the pediatric oncohematology department with “Fak” in the camera and sent it to these “well-wishers” with the words that I am not obliged to report on everyone I pat on the head. I'm not doing this for show, I've written, filmed and posted enough to see what I'm doing. If I wrote and posted about each of my “good” deeds, it would be even funnier than reading that I am a fraudster, a boor and a thief. And all sorts of other nasty things. Despite all my disappointments in this world, I continue to do what I do. I continue to communicate with people who want my advice or just a conversation. I did, I do and I will do. To spite all the bastards who I didn’t please in some way.
“A real man goes to the doctor only when a spear in his back begins to interfere with sleep,” Kirill Menshikov wrote in his VKontakte status. The 20-year-old from Vladimir treats the Hodgkin's disease that is devouring him with humor. The guy is sure that if you perceive cancer as a cold, then the consequences from it will be minimal.
In general, when Kirill was given a terrible diagnosis, he did not become despondent. On the contrary, I found my goal. The Vladimir resident was about to set off on a trip around the world, not for fun, but for the sake of helping children with cancer. We talked about this in more detail.
Over the past year, in between chemotherapy courses, Kirill managed to visit Ufa, Tolyatti, Sibay, Kazan and St. Petersburg. The Vladimir resident simply named his project: “I can.”
“The goal: to show what a person is capable of despite life’s difficulties. Show that, if desired, a person can cope with any problem, no matter how difficult it may be. While in treatment, I observed people in the hospital. Almost everyone complains about the injustice of fate, about the pain, about the hopelessness of the situation, and they count the remaining days. I want to show by my example that you shouldn’t pay so much attention, nerves, and worries to such things, that you shouldn’t give up,”- Kirill writes in his group.
Kirill supports hundreds of sick children. Thousands of people from different regions of the country turn to him for advice. His phone is ringing off the hook with calls, and after a day of silence on the Internet, his social network accounts accumulate 5 thousand messages. He is even ready to come to a foreign city for the sake of an unfamiliar person in order to prevent him from stepping off the roof.
The activity of the Vladimir resident was noticed at the metropolitan level - Kirill was invited to the program “Let Them Talk,” and one of the largest Russian publishing houses is going to release a book about the guy.
“In almost every city in Russia they are waiting for me to visit, they are even ready to come for me, they let me into their house, but I am a complete stranger, and to this they simply answer me that they themselves don’t understand how this could happen, they would never let me in like that.” easily someone outsider. It’s just that the answer is always the same words – “As if we’ve always known each other.” It looks like something magical, I tell you. Over and over again, from strangers, hear these words!”- writes a volunteer.
For himself, despite the complexity of the situation, Kirill never really asked for help. However, in January the guy’s condition deteriorated significantly, which is why he had to stop his volunteer activities for a while.
- I started choking on food and water. They discovered a hole in my throat and 4 days later they performed an unscheduled operation on me. They inserted a tube into my stomach, and I lay there for two weeks without eating anything. IVs fed me- says Kirill. – Now I need a lot of money to go to Israel for chemistry. Then I should undergo a bone marrow transplant and finally fix the hole in my throat.
The guy will need 2 million rubles for the examination alone. And the total cost of all procedures, according to doctors’ forecasts, will be about 16 million. So far, the Vladimir resident has managed to find only 200 thousand, and he needs to fly to Israel as soon as possible.
Qiwi wallet: 89307499982
Yandex Wallet: 410013338361142
Sberbank card: 4276 1000 1241 0236
Account number: 40817 810 3 10000054165
If by some miracle we succeed in collecting the required amount, Kirill, after completing all the necessary procedures, plans to continue his social activities. And who knows, maybe his dream of working as a volunteer at an Altai camp for children with various diseases and the Tibetan Tiger Temple will one day become a reality.
Kirill, who was faced with cancer at a very young age (in his early twenties), spoke with a smile about all his hospital misadventures, how he created a video blog in support of people in whose lives difficult circumstances arose, and how he helps children from orphanages. I found his position convincing and worthy of respect. However, a couple of months after that, I saw him on TV, pale, thin, bald from chemotherapy. He said that the disease had relapsed and that his condition was getting worse every day...
Today the name of Kirill Menshikov appears again in the press and on television. He shares his recovery story with everyone and continues to insist that there is no cancer.
16 million per operation
When I saw you on “Live” about six months ago, I didn’t recognize you right away. You looked more like an alien than a young man. What caused such a rapid deterioration in your health?
There was a very strong relapse. The first course of “chemistry” contributed to the disintegration of the tumor, and all its contents “exploded” and began to circulate throughout the body. In addition, a “hole” has formed connecting the trachea and esophagus.
- And you realized that there is cancer?
No, I was unshakable in my convictions, but I can honestly say that I was scared and even panicked. The doctors told me that this crap will stay forever. And I love to eat, and the prospect of not eating, not drinking and spitting drool into a glass for the rest of my days did not smile at all. I began to fuss - I found out what could be done with all this. All the doctors said with one voice that they wouldn’t help me in Russia. They shrugged their shoulders: “Maybe somewhere there... We don’t have microsurgery.” I started reaching out to my subscribers. And they found a doctor in Israel who agreed to operate on me. Everything is fine, but the cost of such an operation was 16 million rubles. You yourself understand that this is an unrealistically large amount.
"I'm just struggling"
- It turns out to be some kind of vicious circle.
Absolutely. Without surgery I couldn't do chemo, and without chemo the clock was ticking and my life... well, you understand. The situation was more than serious. My state at that time cannot be described in words. Because of the “hole,” excess air entered the stomach, so at the slightest wrong movement, the entire contents of the stomach came out. During vomiting, which was virtually constant, some of the food entered the lung. This resulted in aspiration pneumonia, in which operations are contraindicated—again a vicious circle.
-Have you announced a fundraiser?
Within a month I managed to collect 1.5 million. A huge amount, but it’s still not 16 million. The deterioration of my physical condition was aggravated by the fact that every second person tried to make me out to be a fraudster and a deceiver. So, for example, when I posted a video with a tube in my throat, people wrote: “Who are you going to fool? This is a urinary catheter! The comments contain only negativity and reproaches. In short, I couldn’t stand it - I freaked out and stopped collecting money. I think: “I’d rather die than humiliate myself.”
Relapse of the disease led to the appearance of new symptoms. I began to sweat heavily: as soon as I lay down, the whole bed was wet. An allergic reaction also occurred in the form of terrible scabies - to the point of bloody crusts. The Live Broadcast correspondents found me in this state.
- After the transfer, were you hospitalized?
Yes. After the broadcast, the Ministry of Health became interested in me, and I was sent under a quota to St. Petersburg, to the only clinic in Russia at a research institute, which deals with such rare cases. Then a new “attack” began - they wrote to me: “Why are you better than others? Because of you, perhaps some child will be left without treatment! And I thought about this question myself and came to the conclusion that I am not better, I just fight and don’t give up.
Gift from sister Zhanna Friske
- Did you have surgery right away?
After I was admitted, at the consultation it was decided to close the fistula with staples. But literally a week after the operation, due to a strong cough from pneumonia, I “coughed out a piece of iron.” After some more time, doctors decided to remove the trachea. This made it possible to move on to treating the tumor, but I again faced the bleak prospect of being fed through a tube for the rest of my life. I refused. Then the doctors installed a temporary tube - a tracheostomy - so that the vomit could come out through it. I had this tube for three months. It was impossible to talk, but the main thing was that the pneumonia had subsided and it was possible to proceed directly to treatment.
I was a participant in the experiment - the first in this clinic on whom a drug alternative to chemotherapy was tested. Zhanna Friske's sister gave it to me. Doctors warned that the consequences, let's say, are opaque.
The entire medicine is a small ampoule that is injected into saline solution. And after a twenty-minute drip, you are free. Unlike "chemistry", there are no side effects.
After the first course, my sweating and scabies went away, and my lymph nodes went away. Then there was the second course. What was unusual was that my hair didn’t come out. The third and fourth courses consolidated the results, and I was put into remission.
When I went to St. Petersburg, I thought that I would stay there for a couple of weeks, but I spent six months in the clinic, during which I underwent about 20 operations. Moreover, all of them, as they say, are without a guarantee. Each time I signed documents stating that I would not have any claims if something went wrong.
Need 4 more courses
- The fact that now there is really no cancer, is this a victory for the doctors or yours?
General. I am very grateful to my doctor Evgeniy Levchenko. But I also survived and endured enough. But now I know exactly what happiness is. Happiness is talking, breathing, eating semolina porridge (this is my favorite dish), kissing when there is no plastic tube in the way, just living.
With doctor Evgeny Levchenko Photo: from the personal archive of K. Menshikov
- But, as I know, your sense of humor did not leave you even in the most difficult moments.
I used each manipulation as an excuse to shoot a new video. The only “black” episode was two weeks in intensive care. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
- Kirill, are you completely healthy today or are you still under the supervision of doctors?
I am completely healthy, but to consolidate the result I need at least 4 more courses of the same medicine. Now I hope that it was produced in the USA, they will make a positive decision for me and I will continue treatment. Otherwise I will have to look for it myself in the countries where it is sold. For example, in Israel. There, one capsule costs $3,000. The catch is that the dosage is based on weight. That is, if earlier, when I weighed 48 kilograms, 1 capsule per course was enough for me, now, when I weigh 73, I already need two capsules and, accordingly, $6,000.
Since we are talking about money, I would like to thank everyone who transferred funds to me. My treatment was free, but the associated costs were very expensive. I earned money myself. They wrote a book about me and I received a percentage. I also received money for filming in programs; YouTube brought in good money. But kilograms of napkins and “astronaut” food from a straw are not cheap pleasures.
Offer in video format
- In your twenties, you passed a terrible test. What helped you stay on your feet?
Many people ask: do you believe in God? Did you believe more or less? I always answer: I believe in people, in those who support me. Of course, my girlfriend and now wife, Natasha, provided me with the greatest support. She lived through all the trials with me. When I felt very bad and I considered all the scenarios, even the saddest one, I began to think about how to “bring her down” so that she would not suffer with me. But she seemed to have “read” my plans and told me not to even think - she would never leave me. We both believed in a happy ending and agreed that if it turned out as we wished, we would get married.
When I returned to Vladimir, we submitted an application. At first they didn’t want to tell anyone, but Natasha couldn’t resist. And when relatives and friends found out, they demanded a real wedding. Then we decided to organize everything not in a modest way, but “like people do.” The only thing that was unconventional was the marriage proposal, which I made in video format. I installed it, sent it, waited outside the door for five minutes and then went in. Some friends told me that the video proposal was not serious, but Natasha liked it. On October 22 we had a wedding, beautiful and fun. But the most important thing is that exactly one day before the wedding we learned good and, frankly, unexpected news - if everything goes well, we will have a child in the spring.
Cancer has retreated
18.10.2016Walk in the park together and make plans for the future. Six months ago, Kirill Menshikov and his fiancee Natalya Tyulpanova could only dream of this simple joy. Kirill's cancer - Hodgkin's lymphoma - did not lose ground, despite courses of chemotherapy and several operations. The young man talked about how he doesn’t give up and continues to believe in his blog. Hundreds of acquaintances and strangers helped with words of support and funds through social networks. An experimental medicine, which was given to Kirill by the relatives of the singer Zhanna Friske on one of the talk shows, played a decisive role in the treatment.
Kirill Menshikov: “I was warned in advance that I was the first person on whom it would be tested in our clinic; how it would behave is unknown. We carried out the first course: there were not a single side effect at all, the lymph nodes disappeared after the first course, after the second course all disappeared symptoms."
Kirill Menshikov: “I wake up, open my eyes, the doctor is standing in front of me, I immediately have a smile, he also seems to be smiling. And I am silent out of habit, looking at him. He says: “Yes, Kirill, now you will have to walk like this, sewn I was to the chin so that all the work would not be in vain." I touched everything here and said: “What kind of guitar is that I have there?” And then I realized, wow! I say! "
Now the disease has subsided. But for prevention, at least four more courses of treatment are necessary. Kirill is now waiting for the drug from America. They promised to provide it free of charge, because the guy’s treatment is a kind of medical experiment. After being discharged from the hospital, Kirill proposed to his beloved girlfriend Natalya. They have been dating for several years. We met by chance, even before the illness, and periodically exchanged messages.
Natalya Tyulpanova, Kirill’s fiancée: “You ask him a question, and he answers you completely, with some kind of phrase that you don’t expect, and it was more and more interesting for me to learn more and more about him. I was confident in him, because this is Kirill "I knew that everything would work out for him. I was just waiting for him."
The couple's wedding is in two weeks. They decided to celebrate properly with a white dress and ransom. Relatives and friends were invited. Kirill admits that there are still many plans ahead. He continues to communicate with patients at cancer centers and children in orphanages throughout Russia. Recently I visited Kazan and Nizhny Novgorod. There they organized a flash mob for the guy. According to Kirill, thousands of messages are written to him. Many asking for help. It is physically impossible to read and answer everything. Kirill dreams of developing his project. In his blog, he will tell the stories of people who contacted him in an unusual way.
Kirill Menshikov: “We film his life together, that is, I film about him, and together we do something that he would never dare to do. For example, we jump with a parachute together and shout: “I can do it!”
© Menshikov Kirill
© AST Publishing House LLC
* * *
I dedicate the book to the whole world so that no one will be offended
Instead of a preface
Hello everyone, my name is Kirill, I'm 20 years old. I’ll tell you a little about myself as a person, my goals, the project itself and plans for the future. Born in Vladimir, in an ordinary family, an ordinary guy. Over the past few years, many unpleasant moments have happened in my life. One of them became a turning point, the very moment in which I learned my diagnosis and realized that I was seriously ill. This moment made me think about a lot: about life, about what happened in it, about what could happen in it. Actually, these thoughts led me to one idea, goal, dream. We will always have time to talk about me in detail. Now I want to introduce you to my project.
Goal: to show what a person is capable of, despite life’s difficulties, to show that, if desired, a person can cope with any problem, no matter how difficult it may be.
While in treatment, I observed people in the hospital. Almost everyone complains about the injustice of fate, counting the remaining days, about the pain, about the hopelessness of the situation. Actually, I want to show by my example that you shouldn’t pay so much attention, nerves, and worries to such things, that you shouldn’t give up and you should try to help others in spite of everything.
At the moment I have already assembled a small team. Wonderful people who supported my idea and are ready to implement it.
What am I going to do?!
My team and I are about to go to places where our help is needed.
We will have no limits in choosing a place. Each time it can be anywhere in the world. When everything is ready to send, we simply open the card and point our finger. Next we will look at what is required in this place.
The first foray is planned on the territory of our vast Motherland.
For what reasons?!
Firstly, I need to finish my chemotherapy and radiation therapy courses, which limit my actions.
Secondly, during the remaining treatment, I need to get myself into good physical shape, because the disease has taken quite a lot of weight from me.
And thirdly, during this same time, finally think everything through.
Many people ask whether all this will be harmful to my health?
We will all die someday, because life is not eternal. What I know for sure is that I will not die from this disease, but everything else will follow.
About collecting money for treatment
I was never bothered by my diagnosis and was not bothered by anything, despite all the unbearable procedures I underwent for treatment. When I reached remission and then relapsed six months later, I just smiled and laughed.
This didn’t surprise or offend me in any way. But after some time, the cancer gave complications that I was not prepared for. I was lying at home and drinking a milkshake, when suddenly I started choking and coughing with every sip. “Allergies,” I thought. And the next day the next course of chemotherapy began. Later I realized that even swallowing drool, I was choking and coughing. I completely stopped eating and drinking, plus the chemistry was taking its toll. It was very difficult, after a few days they began to thoroughly examine me. And one of the diagnostics revealed that I had a fistula, a hole between the trachea and the esophagus. At first I thought that this was just another nonsense that would soon pass. But that was not the case, they said that an operation was needed in order to eat, it was necessary to drain a tube into the stomach, where food would be delivered using a syringe. This didn’t surprise me either and didn’t make me falter, I thought that this was another difficulty that I would survive. But when they told me that this was forever, I lost my mind, because for me the most valuable thing in life is to eat, or rather, to eat everything and everywhere. Food is something sacred to me. And then they tell me that I will never be able to eat or drink on my own, and that I will even have to cough up drool for the rest of my life. At that moment I realized that I needed to look for a place where they would tell me that this was not true and that there was a way out. After some time, searching for different clinics in different countries on the Internet, I realized that this is microsurgery, which is not very progressive in our country. After consulting, I found out that I had to undergo long and difficult treatment, which would cost a lot of money, namely, not one or two million rubles, but much more. In a panic, thinking for a long time, I decided to turn to my subscribers in a video message with my illness for help. I didn't know what, how or where. All I knew was that it was extremely expensive. As a result, I opened collections in which subscribers actively took part, they created leaflets and so on, and put them everywhere they could. It was then that I realized what a mistake I had made. I never thought that there were such evil people in the world that I would shoot on the spot. They called me all sorts of things later: a swindler, a mama’s boy who begs, and so on. They assured me that this was all nonsense, which could be easily treated even at home. After all, everyone here has become great doctors and knows everything. They generally said about the tube in my stomach that it was a urinary catheter, and I was very actively deceiving everyone. After about a month I stopped collecting. It’s better to die than to see this from people, I thought. Despite this, they continued to try to turn everyone against me, showing how insignificant I am and so on. Soon they got my public page blocked for “Suspicious fees.” This was the limit of what my nerves could withstand. After all, roughly speaking, I lost all the fruits of my labor, which I did throughout the year. It was as if a piece of me had been torn off. People simply simply forgot that I do not have some kind of fundraising group, but a project, a public page with important information. But no one listened, so I ended up creating a new one. Or rather, not me, but one of the subscribers. Since I was unable to even surf the Internet due to health reasons, everything was done for me. Over time, they put the new group in order, but after some time, the subscriber who created the group simply went over to the side of the people who slandered me as best they could. She deleted all the information in the group and wrote one single post about how bad and a fraud I am. This time I didn’t give a damn, I didn’t care anymore, since I had already regretted 100,500 times about starting some kind of training and so on. Over time, subscribers suggested me a clinic in Russia by voting, with their reviews and so on. Without hesitation, I decided to trust Mother Russia and get treatment here, and not abroad. I spent six months there without checking out. And all this time they continued to slander me as best they could. I read all sorts of nasty things that made me want to just commit suicide. In the end, I pulled myself together and simply rudely sent such people away, which naturally escalated the situation, but I did as I considered necessary. Over the course of six months, I went through several different operations; the tubes were probably sticking out of me everywhere they could. They tried to bury me three times already; they said that they could only remove the esophagus and thereby separate the lumen. This means that I would never be able to talk and would still be fed through a tube. But I would have survived. The worst thing that happened was two weeks in intensive care. I would never wish this on anyone. You just lie in four walls completely without clothes, connected to various devices and look at the ceiling. It was unbearable, several times I was ready to just get up, tear off all the tubes and devices that were connected to me, and go to my department myself. Day after day I was told that perhaps tomorrow I would be transferred to the ward, but every time something bad happened that would prevent me from surviving the ward. That’s why I was in intensive care the whole time. It’s one thing when you sleep all this time, it’s another when you can’t sleep due to various complications and just stare at the ceiling with open eyes for 24 hours. You can't even turn on your side. Over time, the hour came when they performed the most important operation and cut off six rings of my trachea, connecting the ends to each other. The chances were slim, but I survived, and not only did I survive, but now I eat and drink without a single pipe. It was like a dream. When I finally arrived home, I immediately resumed my travels and went to Kazan. But then it started again, slander and so on. “Kirill was discharged and began to have fun and relax, and said that he would go to the children in orphanages and oncology centers.” It was outrageous, they wrote that way, because I didn’t write about what I was doing in Kazan. As a result, I simply took a photo in front of the pediatric oncohematology department with “Fak” in the camera and sent it to these “well-wishers” with the words that I am not obliged to report on everyone I pat on the head. I'm not doing this for show, I've written, filmed and posted enough to see what I'm doing. If I wrote and posted about each of my “good” deeds, it would be even funnier than reading that I am a fraudster, a boor and a thief. And all sorts of other nasty things. Despite all my disappointments in this world, I continue to do what I do. I continue to communicate with people who want my advice or just a conversation. I did, I do and I will do. To spite all the bastards who I didn’t please in some way.
Part one. Before diagnosis
Memories of Vladimir childhood
I spent my entire childhood in Vladimir, and I have many good, bright memories. For some reason, I often remember the first time I went outside with my parents, I was still very young then. I met my first friend, I remember, he invited me to a watermelon, then there was another one, I already invited him to my place, and then I confused them for some time. He was still small. As my childhood passed, we had our own yard company, where, somehow it turned out, I was the soul, the leader: wherever I went, everyone followed me. It has always been this way. Of course, we spent a lot of time in the fresh air, jumping in garages, running around with guests, and there were no tablets or video games yet - a real childhood.
I have never been almost anywhere outside of my hometown, only once I went with my father to Moscow on a business trip on a company bus. I was still in kindergarten then, but I remember this trip very well. And sometimes my father would pick me up from kindergarten in his official transport, in this huge truck. He sat me on his lap, even let me drive.
My dad was often away. Almost the entire family followed the military line, so he was sent to serve under a contract every now and then. I was in Chechnya and in other combat zones. Somewhere it was necessary to guard some objects, somewhere to participate in operations. All this lasted until his two closest comrades, with whom he always walked hand in hand, were killed. He arrived, but we always had a holiday when he returned, we always went somewhere to sit together, but this time everything was completely different, and everyone was in tears. In general, after that he left the contract service, his mother convinced him of this, but in the future I didn’t particularly question him about it.
I was the only child in the family, but I was very friendly with my cousin and spent my entire childhood with him. He and I were so close that, for example, if I was sick and needed to be persuaded to take medicine, they would crush a pill in a spoon with sugar, and then persuade me, saying, “Now you’ll drink it, and then we’ll go to visit my brother.” After that, as a rule, I agreed.
* * *
As children, we had a lot of funny inventions. We always gathered in a friendly crowd, and then figured out what we would do. I often encouraged everyone to do all sorts of pranks. I remember we were about twelve years old, and we also had yard boys about fifteen or sixteen years old. We were afraid of them, and they scared us. These guys bought an old Zaporozhets from some grandfather for five hundred rubles, and everyone tinkered with it and sat in it, it was their car. Everyone did something in it.
And we always tried to annoy them. One day we were walking around the yard, and then I saw this very “Zaporozhets”, but it was empty, and there was no one near it. I say to my playmates in the yard: let’s sit in this car for a while? Without thinking twice, they agreed. And so, we are sitting in the car, we see wires sticking out from somewhere under the dashboard. And here I suggest connecting the wires one by one, just like they show in the movies. Let's take turns doing this.
When it was my turn again, I decided to try this manipulation several times. And suddenly the car started up and rolled away! Oh, we were scared! Panic, tears, jumped out, rushed in all directions, ran far, far away. What kind of pictures did our imagination draw for us! The car crashed into the house, the house was demolished, the car was shattered... After half an hour, they finally decided to return. We look - the car is still standing, only moved a little, and, in general, no catastrophe is observed. And then these guys arrived, the owners of the car. We finished drinking tea at one of their houses, went down to the yard, and then the “Zaporozhets” was not standing still, moved a little forward, and we were also spinning around it, and the car was open. We again panic and cry: oh, we’ll get it now. In general, we rushed to a store that was nearby, after all, adults work there, and obviously they wouldn’t touch us in front of them. The saleswomen saved us from pursuit: when the enraged elders came running after us, they told them: “But these are children, leave them alone!” - “These kids just stole a Zaporozhets!” – they were indignant in response. That's the kind of reputation I had.
Then they took revenge on us, by the way. Once they waylaid us in the yard and poured water on us, it was insulting. Two months have passed since then, they moved this car closer to my house, and, one day, going down into the yard, we again saw the “Zaporozhets” that was well known to us. This time it was prudently locked, but we still climbed in through a small triangular side window - after all, we were all about twelve years old, and our dimensions at that time still allowed us to do this. We were sitting in the car, having fun, there were various interesting things there, for example, portable speakers on wires, the dashboard again, and the owners of the car were again drinking tea somewhere.
We sit and sit, look and look, and they suddenly come out of the entrance and see that we are sitting in their car. Unheard of impudence! Their indignation knew no bounds, we somehow got out of the car through this tiny window, quickly rushed into my entrance, closing the door behind us. We hid on the second floor behind some boxes, sat there quietly, at first we didn’t make a sound, and then we started making fun of ourselves, shouting something: “Hey, where are you, we’re here!”
Half an hour later someone appeared on the floor. He ran almost to where we were sitting, walked for at least a minute, or even more, then went out, went downstairs, and closed the door. We were so scared that we sat quietly for another hour. So we weren't caught for it!
There were many funny stories in the yard as a child. And those boys, the owners of “Zaporozhets”... One, for example, is in prison for murder, being drunk, stabbed a friend with a knife because he refused to lend him money, and the rest - who knows where, who lives, who left the city a long time ago.
* * *
I don’t remember much about my school years. We were a class, to put it mildly... no, not that we were degenerates, of course, but we treated each other so-so. Everyone gave each other nicknames. For example, I had a nickname “bag”. Well, from the surname Menshikov, apparently. And we became a more united team, that is, what is called a “class,” at the end of our studies, when it was time to say goodbye.
Throughout my entire school life, I never skipped class, although there were no specific subjects in which I had a burning interest. But I still didn’t want to miss classes. True, there were enough truants in my class even without me. Despite normal attendance, I did not study very diligently. Once, I remember, there was one quarter during which I got C grades in all subjects, and only got a C grade in physical education.
In general, I didn’t particularly like school, but this did not in any way affect my interest in some subjects. For example, to history, and there were certain topics that I studied especially deeply. For example, it was interesting to study the history of my surname, it is very old, and I know it by heart, and my grades for such topics have always been good. I think this is familiar to many: when there is interest, everything works out very well. The incentive is important.
Army everyday life
I always wanted to follow the military line. In our family, this is a hereditary profession: my father is a border guard, my grandfather is an FSB lieutenant colonel. Military affairs have always fascinated me. After ninth grade, I decided to get a secondary education, then join the army, and after that go to college. In a word, I ended up in one of the Vladimir colleges at the technical faculty. There I studied for three courses, after which I ended up in the army.
I turned eighteen, the conscription was already ending, but apparently there was a shortage at the military registration and enlistment office, and therefore potential conscripts who had already reached the age of majority simply came home, no matter whether they were studying or not. They also rang my doorbell: they say, I urgently need to sign some papers, so that later I can easily get to the medical examination, the fifth, the tenth... In general, I signed one paper, then another. I look, and they’re already trying on the uniform for me. I think: yes, something is wrong. I called my father and told him, and he said to me: “What did you sign?!” I answer: “Well, military man, one more thing.” “Well, congratulations,” he says, “now you are serving.”
It seemed that everything was going wrong. After all, my cousin and I were planning to join the army together after college, we wanted to join one unit, the same company, but here... I had to forget about all our joint plans. My brother went to serve when I returned. Well, I was sent to Nizhny Novgorod. There, in the army, the first health problems began. The temperature was kept constant – not very high, 37–37.2. But they are strict about it: thermometry three times a day, and if anything happens, go to the infirmary. But in the army they don’t like sick people, because how is it - others work, and you are in the hospital, being treated?
It was only later that they told me that since I still had these symptoms there, it means that I already had oncology then. But I didn’t attach any importance to it and got out as best I could. And who in the army will think about oncology? The pain there was completely different. Pneumonia, for example, there were even cases where guys died from it. True, many had pneumonia: still, the conditions are not the easiest, especially when winter is around the corner. Our health seemed to be monitored, but only to a certain extent. For example, they placed plates with chopped onions in the rooms to kill germs. In the canteens we ate garlic. But they tried to avoid the infirmary: if you lie there, you seem to be bad.
There was an oath in sight, my relatives promised to come to me, and my thermometer was almost forty. Still, in three days the temperature was brought down, I was discharged, and then I tried not to notice the general malaise and elevated temperature.
Telemetry, as I already said, was three times a day, and sooner or later I would be caught with my elevated temperature, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. And my illness began as soon as I ended up in the army. In general, it should be noted that in the first month, many in our company’s temperature jumped – thirty-eight, thirty-nine, even up to forty. They explained to us that this was all due to a change in the situation, due to stress. Naturally, the winter was hellish, and we always had a lot of clothes. Imagine: two pajamas, then pants with a shirt, then a padded jacket or jacket - a whole set of clothes. Depending on the weather, the sets changed: “one”, “two”, “three”, “four” and “five”. These are army words. Let’s say they tell us: the company gathers in “fives” on a line, and everyone understands exactly how to dress. And if something is wrong, if someone is guilty, then they punish the whole company, so you stand, all dressed, for half an hour, and an hour, and then, sweating, they kick you out into the cold. It is no wonder that many were feverish from such temperature changes.
Once, I remember, I held out with a temperature of under 40 for the whole day, hiding it as best I could. Still, the team was close-knit, I didn’t like going to the infirmary and taking time off. For the first month, however, we didn’t do anything sensible, we just ate and cleared snow, but only later, when I joined the company, we started working full time, and it wasn’t easy, especially since in my unit there were practically no layoffs. Only once, right after the oath, they let us go for a day, I remember. Our company was ostentatious, elite, so to speak. If any inspections are coming, come to us. We had another similar company, a sniper company, they say that everything was also tough there, but I don’t know what kind of laws they had there.
You can look at it from different angles: maybe I was lucky that such conditions existed, or maybe I was unlucky. But it was almost impossible to serve fully due to the temperature. Yes, the service was not what I had imagined.
By the way, my brother, with whom we so wanted to serve together, but it didn’t work out, could go on leave every two months. Each unit has its own rules, we didn’t have such freebies.
Recruits are not allowed any phones; everything is taken away immediately. They are only issued on Sundays for a couple of hours. Meetings with relatives do not last much longer than just to sit and chat at a checkpoint. Everything was strict, no dismissals. Somehow some people managed to hide their phones. In my stupidity, I thought: since they hide the tubes, it means they can probably hide the tablet too! So, when my parents came to meet me for the first time, I asked them to bring me this gadget.